Was it worth it?

Before my summer began at Scout Camp, I was asked a question by the President of the Kansas City Missouri Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was being released from my assignment there and would be taking a leave from my responsibility. He simply asked if I needed help assessing my priorities. I presume the question was for me to not just go on Autopilot in doing what I have been doing for the last four years, and truly determine if what I was going to do (be on staff) was something that provided more value to God's children than continuing to do the work that I did at the temple.

What say you? How does each of us that make the sacrifice, whether it is for the summer as a staff person, or a leader for a week, or more, or even for a day, to spend with the youth at camp? I knew going in that there would be no big "aha" moment for me in my interaction with them, as I am not an instructor, or even a leader. Not everyone gets that moment, and that is okay. And yes, it is a sacrifice for adults to take time from family or maybe a job to come to camp, even if it is just that one day. Even more so if your kids have grown and gone, and so you are doing it, well, why are you doing it? Why do I do it? Are the priorities properly aligned?

Starting the summer, it was easy to assume that they were. I know that by serving in the store gives me the opportunity to teach staff how to operate in a retail environment, and to provide good customer service. It isn't teaching kids skills, at least not campers, though I do have to explain the meaning of being courteous and kind to them when they try to rush the store. Sometimes even trying my patience, and ability to be courteous to all around. But things tend to come at you, and the worst is when you feel powerless to address perceived (and I mean, perceived) injustices. Did that have an impact on my feeling that my priorities were straight?

It did, and does, have an impact on my view. I won't lie here and try to sugarcoat anything. While time flew by this summer, there is no question that sometimes the clock just seemed to go backwards. Yes, I questioned everything about what I was doing. Do I provide value? Am I valued? Would I have been better off doing what I was doing, and put that camp stuff in the box until maybe next year, or ever? 

Luckily, while I do appreciate gratitude, and acknowledgement of my existence, and work, I do not need it for my own self-worth. I understand that some things change quickly, and some things move at a more glacial pace. So let me just note a few things that I determined over the course of the summer.

I do provide some value, some steadiness in a job that is not wanted by many on the staff.

I stood as an example to the store staff, and encouraged them, trained them, and let them do their thing. In exchange, they made this year one of the best years that I have had on staff, the store has done very well, their accuracy in handling money was scary on target, and the store has rarely looked cleaner. Perhaps I had a little to do with that.

I provided an ear to many on the staff, and supported them through some challenges this year. I am saddened that two of them, in particular, won't be returning. Wondering if I am smart enough to continue to exercise restraint and patience.

I would like to think that I did provide some leadership on staff beyond the Trading Post, but will leave that to others to decide.

We strived to meet the needs of the campers and staff, often having specific items delivered to the store, to provide that convenience. 

On the other side of the coin, I would say that I did miss out on serving in the temple, something that I truly love. Serving alongside brothers and sisters in the gospel in carrying out God's work for the living and the dead.

I miss my opportunities to teach my Sunday School class. This year, we are studying the Old Testament my favorite work of Scripture. It goes without saying that I miss simply attending church with my wife. Or, attending church at all.

Did I mention feeling powerless to deal with what I perceived to be injustices? Definitely a negative.

So, back to the question, do the positives outweigh the negatives? Not so easy of a question as I thought at the beginning of the summer.

I did neglect to mention one little thing.

Amongst the trees of the hills and valleys here at Camp Geiger, I feel God's presence, in ways that I can't explain. 

When saying grace during meals, in the great variety of ways that it is done, I know that God hears not only my prayers, but the prayers of all who are petitioning Him.

The opportunity to share my beliefs with others, to the extent possible, to let them know that we are all fellow travelers here on earth, with the same ultimate goal, whether we truly realize it or not.

That trials we face encourage us to go to our knees, to ask God for the strength to get through them, and when our minds are full, racing so fast we cannot sort out our prayers properly, knowing that God is hearing what we truly want to say, and responds to those prayers, calming us, and granting us peace according to our faith. His yoke truly is light, and his burden is easy. He shoulders all of our load, if we would but simply offer it to him. After all, he has already carried that pain, that anguish, that sin.

You know I really didn't mean for this to veer into a blog suitable for the View from the Rim, but it has suddenly given me great clarity as to the question I have asked, and so am leaving this sojourn intact, as written, no editing, no cleaning up the verbiage (rare for a phil blogpost). 

So I have my answer, did you catch it?

Maybe there is something to that Golden Words nomenclature after all. What say you?